So, You’re a new mom, bliss!
You are taking care of new life and adjusting; then next thing you know, time is up and you must leave your little one with someone else… A stranger… while you head off to work. THE DREAD!
No one can take care of your baby like you can take care of your baby, we all quietly know this. But when some mothers must take their brand new 3 month-old fragile baby to day care… Not many can understand the heartache it causes.
In case a man is reading this, let me “womansplain” this: It’s like taking delivery of your brand new, top of the range luxury vehicle and then handing it over to a taxi driver to use for 8 hours every day with no tracking device on it. At least that’s how I feel.
You hand your child over to whoever and off to work you go. You get there and there many ‘congratulations’ and happy faces to see you but in the back of your mind, you cant help but chase every minute on the clock- waiting to get back to your child.
Before I became a mother, my friend/colleague had a baby girl. When her maternity leave ended, she extended with her annual leave. When she finally came back to work, she called her mom (caring for the child) almost every hour to check on the baby. It went on for months. She wouldn’t even go out for drinks after work a year into motherhood. I didn’t get it. I would tell her how boring she was because it was clear that she needed time to herself, but she wouldn’t budge. “I’m going home to my kid”, she always insisted. I never understood until now, how hard it is to claw yourself away from your child. Apparently, it doesn’t get easier as they get older, the dynamics of their independence make it more complicated. Then, how are all the mothers out there doing it? Has anyone ever wondered?
Do you just leave and hope everything will be fine? Especially with the horrible news and videos we see of mistreated toddlers and children circulating every other month?
These are the topics no one talks about. I would love to hear an honest answer. I am tired of hearing “toughen up”, I want to hear a heart felt answer. I know in this world we must toughen up to survive, but to do that, one needs to acknowledge their feelings. No one is a rock, no one just goes through life, we encounter situations. They make us feel a certain way, we go through the experience then we overcome. There is a spectrum of emotions and reactions between whatever blow life hits us with and the moment of overcoming. We tend to skip all of that and focus on the result of our situation.
I don’t know about you other new moms but leaving my child for 5 minutes with a stranger is torturous. I’ve even doubted if family members were up to the task. For me, working from home became the best option. It wasn’t the easiest as I always had to attend to the baby, but it gave me piece of mind. The hardest part has been restructuring my career goal to fit my parenting choices.
Once I had shut out the voices on conventional work-life balance and accepted that my life has changed. I was able to see available options. I had to figure out what “going back to work” looked like for me. My husband and I made unpopular decisions; we’ve never felt more peaceful. Now its about building the life we want and trusting the process.
How has going back to work panned out for you? Follow @closet.mom on instagram and share your real-life stories with us. Closet Mom doesn’t judge.
Follow Glam Africa on social media: @GLAMAFRICAMAG